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Secret Handshake

by Headsnack

/
1.
[Verse 1: Shred Lexicon] Uncertain like a merkin merchant, Beware the serpent lurking in the grass emerging when urgent— Got me reaching for the bourbon, Learning what my purpose is The surfaces of planetary bodies are vast and built to last, There are reasons to be skeptical, And to reject the spectacle, And withdraw, choosing not to reenter the festival, There are reasons to rise up and throw hands, When no one can afford the pound of flesh the man demands, Yo, we used to be invincible, but now the going’s difficult And you can’t buy groceries with your principles, The flood coming is biblical, but I’m like Noah peering through the mist, Envisioning the moment when my ark sets adrift, And suddenly it’s bliss, I can feel my spirits lift, And I finally recognize that my time on earth’s a gift, So I take one last look around before I close the door, It’ll be another 40 nights before we reach the shore.   [Chorus] Back from intermission nonfiction quit your bitchin’ son, Another pitcher’s pitching and it ain’t about the riches won No more inch-by-inching it’s time to itch what’s itching young, Number of shits given, none! We sell shellfish that ingest plastic, We’re selfish, spilling oil on pelicans, As long as my skeleton isn’t disturbed I can post a story and pretend I care about birds! Liberal in the mind with no action, It’s all about your self-satisfaction, Troll your apps for positive reactions, They want us overstimulated with distractions, Polarizing factions, republicans and democrats can crap my a hat and call it fashion, Every living creature is born special, But guilt, doubt, and shame bear torturous devils, So cast the first pebble if you're without sin, You're living in the shadow of what might have been, The battle within, its religion vs. science, Both try to explain which one is lying! Back from intermission nonfiction quit your bitchin’ son, Another pitcher’s pitching and it ain’t about the riches won No more inch-by-inching it’s time to itch what’s itching young, Number of shits given, none! [3rd verse: Shred Lexicon]: When I think back and try to retrace my steps, Figure out how I got here—was it worth the schlep? Hell yes doubts have crept and nights were spent unslept, I remain in the debt of those who haven’t left me yet, So set your clocks for stress, I’m a mess, I will put you to the test, There’s no rest for the wickedest, Yet I will persevere nevertheless, It will look effortless even though in truth it took my best, Yes yes carpe diem, watch the way we RHPem, Strolling through the arboretum on the way to the museum, I will be my best self when I achieve freedom, Until then I’ll continue wrestling my demons, Am I dreaming, or is this really all there is to life? Ignore my kid and my wife so I can stare at a device? Fearing that I might miss the moment… Not realizing that all along I was my own opponent! Back from intermission nonfiction quit your bitchin’ son, Another pitcher’s pitching and it ain’t about the riches won No more inch-by-inching it’s time to itch what’s itching young, Number of shits given, none! (repeat)
2.
When life in the fast lane drives you insane, When your under the strain and drink away the pain, Get your head in the game or hang it in shame, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, But remember that fame is rented space in the brain, The yin and the yang, the whole shebang, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! [Verse 1: C-Doc] I'd put the TV on on Sunday but the Patriots cheat, and Colin Kaepernick can't play because the words that he speaks, Are considered too dangerous by the rich and elite, If you bite the hand that feeds you you get nothing to eat, I guess I'd rather starve in the street, But my kids are gettin hungry so I gotta pay the piper for a seat, At the table for some 'taters and meat, They can keep their appraisal because their lowlife labels are kinda weak, If they tell you that your future is bright well then it's bleak, Used to visit in the dead of the night under a sheet, Now they say it's about white rights they want to keep, I guess too many of us are still asleep, And so I'm rockin head-cracking Headsnack beats, Cause I can't start it over like control-alt-delete, And Trump told the Nazis they were very fine peeps, After they ran that woman down in the street. [Chorus] When life in the fast lane drives you insane, When your under the strain and drink away the pain, Get your head in the game or hang it in shame, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, But remember that fame is rented space in the brain, The yin and the yang, the whole shebang, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! [Verse 2: Headsnack]: This is my autobiography discography, Spin it like poetry pottery on an impossible odyssey, From the bottom to the top of me I'm popping a lobotomy, Dropping bodily flows in the throws of technology, Like congress's lack of progress making a mockery of the sovereignty, a puzzle of ideology and politics like Socrates, Making a divine comedy of our sick bureaucracy, a self-fulfilling prophecy, not passing the policies, Committing highway robbery of scarce commodities, This flow is possibly a novelty, Musicology bringing camaraderie to all the colonies, I shred heads like broccoli on focaccia, Ferkakteh rock lobster rhyme kickboxing prodigy call me the helicopter, hella beat chopper, knockin’ you outta your posture with my philosophies. [Chorus] When life in the fast lane drives you insane, When your under the strain and drink away the pain, Get your head in the game or hang it in shame, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, But remember that fame is rented space in the brain, The yin and the yang, the whole shebang, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! {verse 3: Bona Fide} Backstory surprised how similar Slaying getting crushed till that one come deliver ya Find a nine to five grind for the corporation Current situation requires annihilation See their perspiration somebody shook True and living lead not inanimate book Politicains switching to the beat of greed Sins of the fathers self destruct seed Parent replacing love with material War least of our worries that’s what we fearing tho 17 years we been killing in the sand I’m just catching up on Scandal screen in my hand Culture Alboatross belly plastic Flesh three times a day, mad sick You would think this would cause mad pain But in the center of the cyclone we all the same [Chorus] When life in the fast lane drives you insane, When your under the strain and drink away the pain, Get your head in the game or hang it in shame, In the eye of the universe we're all the same! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, But remember that fame is rented space in the brain, The yin and the yang, the whole shebang, In the eye of the universe we're all the same!
3.
Oh, oh oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh is how I sing my favorite song Oh, oh oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh oh , oh, oh, oh is how I tell the world what's wrong I am genetically contaminated, I eat antibiotics, I cook pesticides I'm the anti-colonic I'm prepackaged atomic space age I'm processed soy, wheat, corn, & cotton/ I contain what the crops drink, what the cows think, the flora and the fauna/ gone man of La Mancha right before it hits the shelves of your grocer ecoli in meat is washed with ammonia sitting in my own mess, no room to breath with oversized breasts but I'm free range I can't walk & they melted my beak my chicks get grinded alive as they peep they feed the chicken the breading on the nugget, you are what you eat it's tortured meat, we're the FDA's puppet, we can't compete just keep it under budget & stay discrete Oh, oh oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, o is how I sing my favorite song Oh, oh oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh is how I sing my favorite song Putting chemicals in the food that's wrong make 'em last unnaturally long When I ask I need you to respond how you sing your favorite song? Telling fables about what's safe that's wrong Read the labels, ask if it belongs On the table with my favorite song On the radio sing all night long Artificial manure, artificial nutrition, artificial animals, men & women The FDA & Monsanto's minions head honchos, switch positions paisano subsidizing corn for less nutrition obesity can be treated as hypertension If we prescribe drugs to mask your symptoms/ & serve fake food health care makes a killing lobbyists paying congress not to listen the children and the school system become the victim policy based on fallacy bovine methane ozone burned calories Man's the only creature that has pain for sport, knowing it to be pain, word to Mark Twain Chorus Reprise
4.
Do you know the deal? Enjoy the veal! Investment banks lie and steal? Enjoy the veal! Toxic chemicals in your meal?w Enjoy the veal! Climate change is real? Enjoy the veal! Shred Lexicon: Welcome everybody to reality dinner theater, I'm your host, giving it my most, Now listen closely to what I'm about to tell ya, Don't buy anything the oligarchs'll sell ya! We've got a very special menu on tap for you tonight, Veal roast, broccoli, basmati rice, Just sit back and enjoy the performance, Though the difference tween perception and reality's enormous! We can sit back and pretend that it's all hunky dory, Even though we know that it's a whole different story, I'll spare you the gory details if you want, But the specials never change in this restaurant, If revenge is a dish best served cold like they say Then we're serving up the plutocrats a shit sorbet Now I'm not acting in my own self-interest I'm just one man with a mic tryna make a difference! Do you know the deal? Enjoy the veal! Investment banks lie and steal? Enjoy the veal! Toxic chemicals in your meal? Enjoy the veal! Climate change is real? Enjoy the veal! Headsnack: They say real news is fake and fake news is real/ as 1 tenth of 1 percent recommends the veal/ at the supper club where the yuppie buddies plan to con the common man, never getting their hands muddy their case studies are funded by coca-cola ever wonder why your school sells soda? As the Donald Quixote triumphs over windmills that don't exist yet he expects me to sit still and swallow the swill to wash down the veal As most of us sheep remain asleep at the wheel keep lying as you serve a dying man's last meal put on your ruby slippers and click your heels So enjoy the veal, I'll be here all week Just ignore that 2000 mile ice shelf break cuz when Miami and NY go underwater I'll be bragging of coal mines and dating my daughter Do you know the deal? Enjoy the veal! Investment banks lie and steal? Enjoy the veal! Toxic chemicals in your meal? Enjoy the veal! Climate change is real? Enjoy the veal! Shredsnack: No jacket required, neither is your checkbook, With Nazis on the scene, all you need to bring’s your left hook, Cuz now we’re on the ropes, democracy’s last hope, When power and influence are more important than votes, You ate all the veal and then you drank up all the Kool Aid, And now it’s time to sleep in the bed that you made, You’ve become a willing slave to the corporate overlords, Your vocal cords are severed and you’re out of poster board, But protest you must, lest we all turn to dust, And future generations look back on us in disgust, We’ve been living in the Matrix, oblivious to the faceless, Are we down for the cause cuz we some rubber bracelets? All of that is fakeness, you best register your lateness, Our vanity is shameless, need for validation's aimless, The only thing certain is that everything changes, But standing up for what’s right is the true measure of greatness, So take the reigns in and resist the plutocracy, They say it's a democracy but I say it's hypocrisy, it's old news like people hating Jews, comedy The solution is revolution, no apologies Chorus reprise
5.
I'm playing with my phone and ignoring my kids I'm staying on the phone while i'm taking a whiz i'm naked with my phone and its none of your biz i'm placated by my phone & afraid to live I'm hanging with my girl on the couch in my home it's time to be together, & we're in the zone Might as well face we're addicted to phone cuz we're active on apps acting like we're alone I'm snapchattin' contacts & directing my drone I don't pick up phones expecting dial tones to stay connected I check texts every second I'm possessed by, obsessed with my phone god bless it What's wrong you! You're watching live music its high fidelity like Cusack but now you gotta prove it and film it with an arm to hand to phone extension You paid for the concert but you're not paying attention staring at a screen not the band in the flesh You think it gets you respect but we're not impressed I'm here to protest this grotesque self-serving interest but LIFE without my phone scares me to DEATH I'm playing with my phone and ignoring my kids I'm staying on the phone while i'm taking a whiz i'm naked with my phone and its none of your biz i'm placated by my phone & afraid to live Have you seen my phone, it looks just like yours except mine is customized to be aligned with what I need it for i need it more and more I can't seem to live without it i left the house without, turned around my route rerouted without it i'm not empowered to send a text like a coward i've got confrontation anxiety consternation with society my piety is that of hermits, trolls & vermin, you read it in my Facebook sermons praising my children, I'm taking pictures every second i'll enjoy it later cuz for now i gotta stay connected i'm at the playground, candy crushing, view obstructed well adjusted kids getting groomed soon to be abducted I'm disgusted is this insecurity? the purity of reality interrupted prematurely so i can touch it This phone I lust it, it must've/ corrupted me spiritually Bust it! Chorus Reprise
6.
Google knows what you know the real you is what you do when you're alone you're not alone every time you enter data they save it as their own Google owns everything you've ever typed on their site from home or phone Google knows every search string brings them that closer to your clone start your engine, I'm searching to relieve the tension pent up/ mental fencing, apprehension to reveal these thoughts that menches shouldn't mention/ i'm yearning to ask them a question/ my journey begins with a sentence/ exact match I don't feel lucky but I'm still bucking for a resemblance/ I sit where it's dark & quiet, searching my heart's desires in private/ cuz what I'm typing/ nobody reads it/ too bad off-shore they're storing my secrets the magical engine knows what I wouldn't mention to my circle of friends, plus the emails I've sent, the places of been, & gives directions Google knows/ what you know the real you is what you do when you're alone you're not alone every time you enter data they save it as their own Google owns everything you've ever typed on their site from home or phone Google knows every search string brings them that closer to your clone I research imperfections/ & learn of herbal medicine/ i'm reticently confessing/ my affection for new fetishes/ attached to my IP address is every thought I possess/ so now they target market me like I'm depressed from watching the Mets/ Before you erase it, google saves it, tracks behavior, sells the data for advertising, opens your life to governments spying/ when you need answers why the commander in chief slanders those of different beliefs yet panders to thieves that gerrymander take a gander Google knows/ what you know the real you is what you do when you're alone you're not alone every time you enter data they save it as their own Google owns everything you've ever typed on their site from home or phone Google knows every search string brings them that closer to your clone Google Chrome knows I'm irreverent/ so when my Nexus texts the president/ that I'm alone he'll send the drones without hesitance to my residence/ my preference for fetishes/ like Furries with furry crevices/ endlessly fulfills and builds upon my anal-retentiveness/ i can cosplay as a pegasus/ reminisce of Sega Genesis'/ 16 bits then switch to nip slips as i click the bottomless pit/ the experience is intimate and sets the precedent/ if i can't fathom it or imagine it Google Knows the infinite Chorus reprise
7.
We live in a world filled with robots They don't try to be something they're not And I really think I have a shot with her I'm in love with a bot I don't care if you believe or not that I feel this from within my thoughts so let's give it everything we've got (oh yeah) I'm in love with a bot I'm just a customer looking for service from a real person, but the bot got me hot and I'm cursing at a human impersonator, waiting for my vocal & numerical data they replaced the live operator with digital freaks of nature pivotal to save money on labor press 1 it'll aggravate ya press 2 it'll rotate ya back in the queue what is there to do in cyborg purgatory? I don't want to argue with a personified recording, & despite my resistance she's luring my mind into co-existence with a techno-sexual perpetual persistence looking for acceptance of her assistance I believe in love from long distance but won't sign up cuz I'm afraid of commitments We live in a world filled with robots They don't try to be something they're not And I really think I have a shot with her I'm in love with a bot I don't care if you believe or not that I feel this from within my thoughts so let's give it everything we've got (oh yeah) I'm in love with a bot You're calling me from numbers I don't recognize I block your calls, you get new lines You send me a text about my credit card debt you're preying on the innocent and those ignorant to your catfishing transmissions panhandling for business bastardize the human condition I can't listen You follow me on twitter with a profile picture of a stripper and claim you're not a bot I beg to differ If this isn't real I don't want reality I don't really care about the amorality or the multidimensionality of your multiple personalities I'm searching for virtual ideality Your AI has a way with my mind I enter my credentials and you're robbing me blind is this a sign its time for bio-mecha bringing us together like Isaac & Rebekah Chorus Reprise
8.
Kombucha 02:44
Now here's a little story about a scoby given to me from the tea of a yogi who told me the daughter is the mother's trophy a symbiotic colony/ probiotic ecology/ symbolic of no antibiotics/ it combats acidity & raises alkalinity Kombucha, packing more punch than a bazooka its why Headsnack's a home brewer I put the water in the pot make it hot The bubbles pop & tea bags drop! Steep it deep until it's concentrated Then remove the teabags after you drain them Pour some sugar, organic cane mix & mix & add cold water then add your scoby daughter cover with a cloth in 3 weeks bottle up the broth Kombucha! rock it like a turbo booster cockadoodle do ya like a rooster Stock raised like you praised the buddha, hallelujah for Kombucha! rock it like a turbo booster cockadoodle do ya like a rooster Stock raised like you praised the buddha, hallelujah for 2nd VERSE: Cheers! This demented, fermented elixir add it to my vodka as the healthiest mixer, get your Yin Yang fix, it's detox on the rocks for the hipsters & beatniks This effervescent, pleasant drink of sweet tea all begins with scoby, a symbiotic colony of bacteria & yeast, the obi wan Kenobi of the far east Kombucha originated from Manchuria staked its claim and made all drinks inferior drinking juice of living bacteria gives you gut health and a svelte exterior it's delirium how this serum brings theorem it's beer's healthy cousin, protecting your interior Booch got the street buzzing, so start chugging this hooch for health & self-loving Chorus reprise
9.
I'm a klutz, i'm not a putz I'm a yutz i kick shmucks like Lionel Hutz in the nuts I'm a spiller, I'll turn around and bump your Miller kill the vibe, vilified like Ben Stiller I'm a spaz, a gawky awkward contrast modest, unpolished & tarnished with a checkered past Time to recap, I'm a klutz flicking butts out the front window and into the back catch a heart attack from the smoke in the rear view going 80 on the Clearview, I'm burning holes in upholstery Clean up aisle 9 in the grocery That's my story, i'm a blunderer a butcher, a fumbler a bull in a china shop stumbler butter finger half steppin' like Frank Drebin unsuspecting, stand and bang my head in Do the klutz, do the klutz This Is hotcakes & coconutz hear my ear worms burrow in your goose bumps your goose bumps pumped like puma pounce on a pond of ducks (repeat) on a flight with the first class upgrade rocking free vodka til I'm slow on the uptake hands spaz spilling drinks on a stranger's lap Then I order another and take a nap. oh I'm sorry I'm clumsy, heavy footed lumbering thundering, mongering, clodhopper pummeling smooth talking until I'm knocking over my glass, I'm overtly brash remote control dropping, watching it like a car crash smash into comcast trash walk into walls, bang myself in the balls Burn myself and curse my selfworth Do the klutz, do the klutz This Is hotcakes & coconuts hear my ear worms burrow in your goose bumps your goose bumps pumped like puma pounce on a pond of ducks A regina steamer carpet cleaner? Dream on! When I have my lean on, best to call Fema! I spill tea on a regular basis and make a mockery of my homeostasis a hypocrisy that I'm so graceless yet blaze through phrases with an ageless greatness unstableness like a turntablist trying to juggle heavy metal on a leaky vessel hello surroundings,I'm forgetful my head has constant knots like a pretzel my limbs have turrets & beget accidents like pachaderms snacking on laxatives banging into things, spilling beverages stepping on toys getting foot hemorrhages headphone cords yank over My Chivas It’s like a penchant to drench when I'm oblivious asleep at the switch I bitch more than Darth Sidious! Repeat Chorus I drench my Qwerty when it's beer thirty carpet stays dirty cause I'm Topsy-Turvy Kick my drink like a Rockette then curtsey grab a jiz rag, & clean it as a courtesy it's inevitable when I'm drinking several or sober, I'll still knock it off the coaster it happens often, mid-motion I balk and caution to the wind, I shadowbox my drink hard to think when I'm spilling drinks in public at the restaurant table while talking dumb shit space cadet graceful as a savage chaos magnet banging my head on cabinets
10.
Take a look at my Facebook! 
Take a look at my spacesuit!
I'm so lucky, I've got so many friends! 
They love my kids and they love my wife. 
They want to peer inside my life. 
Thank you social network sites, I'm cool. What an amazing time to be alive, 
We no longer have to talk and can text while we drive, 
Who cares that it impairs more than driving while high? 
So look down to type and text until you wreck yourself and die! 
The more friends you have online, the less you have in real life 
No wonder schools are teaching how to type and not handwrite,
Gen-I has new ways to socialize, And it’s all about likes until the dopamine spikes!
Hermits unite with the trolls of the night, 
Craft your Wars and explore your Second Life,
Then tweet to twits and pretend they give an ish, 
Your friend list is really just the people you've met,
All acquaintances with whom now you wanna connect 
so bad you never call 'em you just send 'em a text, 
and feel validated when you get a friend request,
and event invitation and friends you suggest. [Chorus #2]: Take a look at my Facebook! 
Take a look at my spacesuit! 
I'm not a loser and I don't have to pretend! 
They care about me oh so much,
It's why we decided to stay in touch, 
I'm so glad we rode the bus to school. Save your breath, end all human interaction 
until Chris Hansen shows up with a transcript of your chatroom, 
Complete with pictures from my sister's Flickr,
It's sicker than following Gary Glitter's babysitter's Twitter,
I'm just a bitter hypocritical cyber-pirate, 
using Facebook to promote this in hopes that you will buy this! 
So spread this virus on your mobile devices, 
until you and two million others "like this" cause for crisis, 
Type this ‘til you get arthritis 
and update your status as if it matters when reality is lifeless, 
Because your insecurities and your loneliness 
compromises your safety and exposes your phobias. [Repeat Chorus #1]
11.
Attention passengers, please stow electronics, or your Angry Birds might crash into the pilot! Silence vagabonds! Or you'll get the cattle-prod, It's time to take it back to analog, You can sit there like a bump on a log or grab that catalog and tag along, 30,000 feet living high on the hog, I'm a Sky Mall rebel without a cause! I need a dishwasher-safe remote control with anti-microbial protection from mold, I need a Rosetta Stone to hone my Español, and plantar fasciitis orthotic sandals! I need a Turkish bathrobe to go with my hand-sewn Mongolian moccasins, The Sky Mall has all of the flyest inventions since Eli Whitney's Cotton Gin! [Chorus]: They have stuff and there is no reason why, I feel the need that I just can't wait to buy, Now every time I just can't wait to fly, I'm going to the great big mall in the sky! [Repeat chorus] When I say Sky, you say "Mall". Sky ---- Sky---- When I say I want it, you say "all". I want it --- I want it --- Sky Mall: [Verse #2: Headsnack}: If happiness is more material objects, I need a life-size Egyptian sarcophagus cabinet, a twelve-pocket jacket with rip-off sleeves, I need Neat Receipt and SodaStream! The Precious One ring, a Harry Potter wand to go with my anti-bulging strapless bra, a Bigfoot bashful Yeti tree sculpture, I need an armadillo beverage holder! I want it all strictly for the convenience, and even though beauty comes from within, I need microdermabrasion treatment to achieve a radiant, younger-looking skin, I need a hybrid digi-analog watch with a tide and moon graph and resistance to shock, a 33-in-1 golf club with 33 lofts, and I need it all before this plane takes off! [Chorus]: They have stuff and there is no reason why, I feel the need that I just can't wait to buy, Now every time I just can't wait to fly, I'm going to the great big mall in the sky! Sky Mall: [Verse #3: Headsnack]: I bought a voice activated R2D2 on my flight to Machu Pichu, I need an electric blue corkscrew, thermometer fork and assorted BBQ tools, I bought a wine-glass holder necklace to rest this wine on my solar plexus, Star Trek this pizza-cutter, George Carver this peanut butter is not in the mall, cuz airborne allergens is death from above like Air Force Falcons, Rapscallion Headsnack, Out to make Warren Buffet duckets with a muppet and a beard cap, Fact, Yankee stadium bleachers can sit two-feet tall meerkat creatures, I need Tweaker lighted mini-speakers to dance with my gravity-defying sneakers. [Chorus]: They have stuff and there is no reason why, I feel the need that I just can't wait to buy, Now every time I just can't wait to fly, I'm going to the great big mall in the sky!
12.
[Chorus] One truth! Not alternative facts, Demand proof, from those that dance around their income tax, Bureaucrats of unspeakable acts are impeachable, Pull yourself up by your bootstraps people! First they came for the socialists, but I did not speak out because of hopelessness­––I was paralyzed, motionless, I felt powerless, alone and afraid, But fam the light is dying and now it’s time to rage! To ultra-conservatives, facts are alternative, They wanna replace your race with one that's superlative, Hide your turban kid, they have us nervous like the Germans did, Cuz affirmative action isn't permanent! I’m standing up for the marginalized and immigrants, The threat posed to our democracy is imminent, We can’t be giving in to that orange idiot, Our last chance for change is to become a dissident! Are you listening? No person is illegal, Regardless of your faith or race all people are equal, Religious liberty is an assault on our dignity The beauty of our country is to see things differently! [Chorus x 2] Fascist, Nazi, totalitarian, Racist, xenophobe, authoritarian, Megalomaniac, pathological liar, narcissist, demagogue, sociopath, you’re fired! By the people for the people, a total farce, You drained the swamp but replaced it with a marsh,   It’s time for us march and protect our amendments against the alt-right, all white power of your henchmen, Puppet of the Kremlin, American sham, A failed businessman compensating for small hands, Fan of grabbing women and promoting racism, Ethnocentricity, bigotry and nativism, Anti-intellectual, fake news informs your views, Impulsive tweets reveal your short fuse, It’s an Orwellian nightmare we’re living in, Let’s speak out before free speech is prohibited! One truth! Not alternative facts, Demand proof, from those that dance around their income tax, Bureaucrats of unspeakable acts are impeachable, Pull yourself up by your bootstraps people! One truth! Not alternative facts, Demand proof, from those that dance around their income tax, Bureaucrats of unspeakable acts are impeachable, Pull yourself up by your bootstraps people! This kleptocracy is conquering through obnoxious posturing, False truth conjuring to sponsor warmongering, Incumbents mumbling of troubling woes as the courtiers tell the emperor he has clothes, The Bible says to love thy neighbor as thyself, So why deny the poor among us access to health? And what if your neighbor is a Muslim or Jew, Will you love even those who don’t agree with you? All of their lies are truthful hyperboles, Our privacy is in their cloud of uncertainty, And certainly they may make us disappear, Just as they declare it a state of emergency! Injustice anywhere’s a threat to justice everywhere, A free and independent press reveals the lies you’ve buried there, Undermining the media and those in academia, In favor of some BS that you read on Wikipedia! [Chorus x 2] [Refrain] Show me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like! Show me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like!
13.
[Voice-over] It’s the year 2051 and all material possessions have been replaced digitally. The size of your cloud determines the size of your manhood. When you die, people can put together your story and make a better you! 
[Chorus] You can reconstruct your ancestors’ lives, Cuz you never know what you're gonna find Up in the cloud! People bid on abandoned lives, Cuz you never know what they've got to hide Up in the cloud! It’s safe, you trust a cloud, You're saving your forgottens in a haven made of cotton, When you die, you leave your grandkids your cloud, They can reconstruct your life to what it looks like right now, Pics of your love child, flicks like Kung Pow, Your obsession with old press kits from Weird Al, You had issues but now you're dead, And they're gonna learn every last secret that you kept, It’s safe its in a fluffy cloud, Aren't you glad you've got a place to keep your stuff now? [Chorus x 2] People bid on abandoned lives hoping for a large data size, And no passwords to keep them out of files, Cuz they never know what they're gonna find, Cuz you never know what they've got to hide Up in the cloud, We're auctioning storage abound, from a guy that skipped town with no known relatives, Now the highest bid wins his cloud, The auctioneer mouths "place your bids, who has dibs? Fill your drives with the lives of strangers from mundane to deranged you're the arranger, There's no danger, it’s the luck of the draw, And now you can discover and uncover grandpa, Make a biopic of his secret life, the topic Hoarding questionable vids of grandma, Remember the scare of sharing your data, ‘Til it went into a cloud then it didn't seem to matter... [Chorus x 2] You can reconstruct your ancestors’ lives, Cuz you never know what you're gonna find Up in the cloud! People bid on abandoned lives, Cuz you never know what they've got to hide Up in the cloud! Find my pathetic self righteous know how, Pics of the persuasion known as lowbrow, Satellite dishes are highly suspicious, I don't like Citrix but i like cumulonimbus, We're exposed to malicious cloud hackers, Selling our identities to crowd-funding backers, Captors of our digital memoirs, Coming for yours via cloud storage wars! You can reconstruct your ancestors’ lives, Cuz you never know what you're gonna find Up in the cloud! People bid on abandoned lives, Cuz you never know what they've got to hide Up in the cloud!
14.
I pledge allegiance to the mic and the crowd, Pledge allegiance to the DJs that only know to rock beats loud, Out in the PJs they only know how to talk proud, About all the raw spit there is about to come out, I grew up with great music around, When I first heard this hip hop, yo man I was hooked by the sound, And it was like my true love was found, As I listen my mission is now to figure out how I can be down, With all this ill music it was hard to keep count, But it was worth it, so much more than a dollar amount, And with a purpose, community was what it's about, To see a hundred fans together put their hands up and shout, And say "Hoooooo" and any time that I was in doubt, And want to step back, give up, and maybe throw in the towel, I'd just throw on a break, take the verbs and pronouns, And start to piece ‘em all together into somethin profound... and rock on... This is how I kick it for emcees and lyricists, I lay it brick by brick like the pyramids, My love for hip hop culture is dead serious, Rhyming for 30 years despite nobody hearing it, But I don't give an ish cuz I've got love, And even though you look at me and are tempted to judge, Just know for me hip hop was a gateway drug, And now all music and poetry flows through my blood, I love graf, deejaying, breaking and emceeing, Beatboxing, record-copping, sample-chopping, Popping and locking, paying homage to hip hop and I'll keep moonwalking while i'm smooth-talking, There's no stopping this poor old soul from copping my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, Let's make a toast with this hiphopocratic oath, to push the envelope and nourish each other's growth! The state of hip hop is ridiculous like myths of saint Nicholas, Or Icarus, But you can meet me where the vigilance is vigorous, Got no time for ignorance or rappers spitting gibberish, I done already spent 40 years in the wilderness, Wandering and pondering, sacrificial offerings at night by the light of the moon hooting and hollering, But now we got a following, a critical mass of emcees who resist the flash to walk a true lyricist's path, And if we do the math and stay focused on our task all the elements of craft will be well within our grasp, I don’t know if it will last or if we’re headed for a crash but I know knowledge reigns supreme even when the cash is fast, I learned that from KRS-One back in the day, One of many things I’ve learned from MCs along the way, So I’d like to pay respect to all my teachers in rhyme, That's why I pledge the HipHopocratic Oath and let it shine!

about

Purchase includes full liner notes PDF, lyrics and accompanying "10 Steps to Freedom" top secret document!

If Run the Jewels and Weird Al had a baby it would be Headsnack! Secret Handshake addresses the major issues of our time through a comic lens with infectious music that warrants repeated listening. This is clever wordplay with unforgettable hooks.

Blending and bending musical genres, Headsnack delivers powerful yet entertaining messages that are both socially and politically aware. He has a sound that's all his own but if you must categorize, consider it the love child of Run the Jewels and Weird Al (though Headsnack is not a parodist).

His tasty beats are meticulously crafted into a wholly original sound that fuses elements of hip-hop, rock, pop, funk, and jazz. This is deep sample manipulation wizardry mixed with live instrumentation.

Lyrically, call it alternative Hip-Hop with a conscience. Headsnack explores the trappings of our daily routines through clever wordplay and unforgettable hooks. Addressing the major issues of our time through a comic lens, Headsnack manages to tackle heady, weighty topics with humor and positivity.

His songs are catchy, fun, sometimes weird, sometimes hardcore, always honest, and often educational. Feast on these delicious cerebral treats to elevate your consciousness.

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released October 5, 2018

Written and produced by Headsnack®
©Headsnack, LLC 2018

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Headsnack New York, New York

Hip Hop cyber-pirate from the future spraying intelligent songs that mock humanity while implanting infectious ear worms. Help spread this virus on your mobile devices & be sure to search YouTube for Headsnack! Like us @ Facebook.com/headsnack & follow @headsnack. ... more

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